July 12th, 2012
So Olympian athletics doesn't really float your boat? Check out these strange and fun alternatives from around the globe (but mostly England).
Sick of seeing all those rippling muscles and taught frames synonymous with the Olympics? Then the Fattylimpics is most certainly for you! Arranged by a few ‘fat activists' living in East London (the one in England), the event isn't about hot dog chow downs and pie guzzling, as you may expect, but rather a celebration of "fat bodies in a public space" through various activities. These include Chub-Aerobics and a hill-rolling contest. The games took place on 7 July 2012.
The World Alternative games is perhaps the ultimate in anti-Olympics. Instead of the more mundane sort of activities, these games set to be held in Wales in August, will present sports fans with the opportunity to take part in/watch more entertaining events such as Bog Snorkeling, Man v. Horse marathon, Poo sticks and Rock, Paper Scissors.
For all the cads, bounders and dandies out there, the Chap Olympiad provides a classy and dashing alternative to the real deal. The event sees athletes in early 20th century dress compete in events such as Gentleman's Club Golf - where contestants have to toss a bowler hat into a fishing net, and Ironing Board Surfing - where a contestant is carried on top their ironing board holding a cocktail which must not spilled. And the sought-after trophy they seek? The golden cravat!
Both sporting and cooking skills are put to the test in this decadent event, as teams compete in an array of activities, including Truffle Table Tennis, Chocolate Pancake Tossing, Chocolate wrestling and Target Truffle. The national finals of the games will be held in Bournmouth, England in September, where a chocolate trophy will be handed to the national champion team.
Gymnastics, swimming and athletics can get rather dull after the first day of watching Olympics, no? Just imagine if these events were added to the games' set list!
Yup, you read that right. According to extremeironing.com "it's an outdoor activity that combines the danger and excitement of an 'extreme' sport with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt. It involves taking an iron and board (if possible) to remote locations and ironing a few items of laundry." Don't tell me this wouldn't keep you glued to your seat, if it were ever to be included in the games.
Okay, so it really is kind of gross: two people clasping their bare toes together in a death grip, while doing something that looks like really awkward arm wrestling. Nonetheless, it has grown and become rather well-established in certain circles since the 1970s, so much so that they've developed a whole lingo for the sport (e.g. the match takes place on a ‘toedium') and even have World Championships taking place on 14 July 2012 in Derbyshire, England.
Cell phone hurling
Aaah, now this sounds like a satisfying sport! Just make sure your ex, bank manager, or dissatisfactory service provider calls you a few seconds before the games begin. Hear it works wonders for your arm! Known as ``kaennykaenheitto'' in Finnish, the championships started in 2000 in Savonlinna, Finland and the current world champ is Mikko Lampi who heaved a Siemens AG cell phone 94.97 meters in 2006.
If getting down and dirty is your thing, swamp soccer is a must-try. Sadly, the World Championships have already taken place this year at Inverness in Scotland. However, this means you have more than enough time to prepare a team of rugged ruffians to take part next year.