We're all for taking time off at the spa. In fact we're going to keep coming up with more excuses for you to pack up and get yourself pampered.

But while you’re thinking of your own spa vacation within the country we ask you to spare a thought for the more overzealous overseas spa fanatics. It's madness out there, just when you thought treatments can't get any stranger they do. We're also a bit sadistic about it, hoping someone will read this and start a new rage in the country.

Bird poo facial

Well, they wouldn't really use that name for it but that's basically what it is. A spa in New York has a new, popular facial called "Geisha Facial." It's clearer, smoother, brighter skin via Nightingale droppings. It was good enough for ancient Geishas and Kabuki actors way before it became fabulous by default for the upmarket New York clientele. Pigeon droppings for a South African version, anyone?

Fanny facial

Facial is probably not the right word for it. But who cares. The Californians love it.  It's a facial for your behind. Those who love it do it for the butt acne reduction, as well plumper, smoother buttocks to show off at the beach. The next time you feel awkward about stripping naked for your treatment, think of how much worse it could get.

All in the toes

At this point it's safe if you just believe anything on your body can be used to read your personality. A few moles in the neck? Go to a neckmologist or something. But if you want to find out about yourself through the toes, then percentoelogy is where it's at. A session includes hot stones, aromatherapy and a toe reading that apparently reveals how your life will change.

Wino to the core

A red wine bath sounds a bit fascinating. It's a new thing in Japan but it's been around for ages in Italy, Argentina, Spain and France. Apparently it's especially great if you want the antioxidants in wine to fight the skin blemishes, combat cellulite or if you're in need of a quick slim down. There are claims that Julia Roberts and Jennifer Lopez have done it - seems Miss Jenny has supposedly tried every strange thing out there. Wonder if a homemade treatment might work?

Beer bath

Some beer guzzling men might go gaga for this. Or maybe not, as they may just see it as supreme hops injustice. It promises smooth skin, brilliant hair and all-round relaxation of frayed nerves. Some would just drink the thing for stress relief. But this is another one to possibly try at home if you have the means and enough chutzpah.

Snake massage

This is funny. When most people think of relaxation and pampering snakes are not at all in the equation. But this isn't fiction, it's done in Israel and there's just no way I would try it. Unless Jennifer Lopez is rumoured to be having the snakes flown in for a special treat.

Dare to experience a different side to spa-ing.