Pretoria nightlife is supposedly non-existent. With Jozi being the hostess with the mostest when it comes to after dark living, the capital city's nocturnal prospects don't sound very appealing.

In reality there's a lot more to Pretoria than the lazy would have you believe. Cool Runnings is the best place to start the evening. It has a reputation as a place for the young, unwashed and eternally wasted. Which is probably due to the fact that drinks are inexpensive and the Caribbean atmosphere of the place tends to loosen you up. Fast!

Flashy and stylish locals generally hang out at Fashion TV. Pretoria is not notorious for its ground-breaking fashion credentials, but it would be naïve not to dress up. FTV Brooklyn is after all part of the global Fashion TV franchise that includes boutiques, bars, restaurants, hotels and shopping malls. Kind of intimidating, but apparently you don’t need narrow hips or a trout pout to get in.

If the idea of winding down in a place with screens beaming the latest international catwalk trends doesn’t blow your skirt up, Hatfield Square is a great spot to check out. It’s home to various bars and clubs frequented by students - the regulars all agree on two things: the booze is cheap and you have to visit Modor at least once. Hatfield is the kind of place you go to meet people. The venues are relatively mainstream, no radical underground music or anything like that, just glorious vanilla fun.

Reckless club-hopping is not for everyone and if you’re into quieter, sophisticated tastes the Cuban Café is a fabulous place to adopt after dark. It’s a restaurant but you will love the after-dinner vibe. Plus there are more than 20 cigar brands in the humidor. Try sucking on a cigar while listening to smooth lounge music. You’re on vacation, you can pull off anything.

Popular with the less sedate is the live music venue, Firkin. It fills up fast so, you better arrive earlier than later in the night. You don’t want to elbow your way in. Besides, there’s no concept of pre-booking so you might not get a ticket. The regulars go back for the local music. Even though it’s limited to English and Afrikaans pop and rock, it’s a good place to check out bands that are otherwise reluctant to perform in pubs.

If you’ve ever wanted to party with Marlene Dietrich, Joan Crawford and Greta Garbo then Legends is a good place to go clubbing. As soon as you enter large photographs of the screen legends greet you. It’s a bit like stepping into a live interpretation of Madonna’s Vogue. There are two dance floors to work and AV screens and projectors that will remind you of exactly where you are, incase you forget. There’s even free internet access for clubbers, so don’t forget to blog about your night out with young Marlon Brando, dancing to house music.

For the chancer in you there’s always the Morula Sun Casino to play at. Like any other slot heaven it has transformed regular people into millionaires unexpectedly. But that doesn’t mean you should keep at it even if it’s not working out. Make it fun.

After playing in Pretoria, visit Cape Town  when the lights go out and let the Mother City entertain you.

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