Hotel bar functions aren't my usual haunt as the drinks are usually over-priced and the company usually stuffy execs looking for a girl to take their mind off the money.

However, an evening of drinks at the Protea Fire and Ice Hotel was quite something different from my assumptions.

Service was prompt, friendly and we could run a tab. R88 for four drinks is very reasonable, I’d say. But you don’t visit this hotel just to have drinks and mingle.

You visit this hotel to use their loos. Five unisex cubicles all uniquely named “The out house”, “The long drop” and “Stage fright” amongst others. I’m not going to tell you what it’s like inside. Use your imagination and go have a drink there to experience it for yourself.

I cannot tell you how much of a pleasure it was to sit at a non-smoking bar. Now all you puffers don’t get your nicotine patch all crumpled up at the thought. There is a smoking room, aptly named “The Coughinn room”. Once again I call on you to use your imagination and frequent the place to see how literal it is.

It’s actually a very clever concept. A great place for a first date. If the conversation gets stale, there are more than enough oddities and design wonders to talk about.